For Maritza Cummings life really did begin at 40, when she had a sex change to turn from a woman into a man. She’d always believed she had been born the wrong sex, causing years of loneliness and depression. Maritza had resigned herself to being trapped in a woman’s body but took up bodybuilding in a bid to look masculine. She also had a long-term lesbian romance.
However, five years ago, she had a seven hour operation to remove her breasts and womb to become a man and marry her girlfriend.
“It was the most liberating moment of my life,” says occupational therapist Maritza, now called Mark. “I now have the body of the person I’ve always been on the inside.” Incredibly Mark’s wife, hairdresser Violet, 47, was happy for her lesbian relationship with Maritza to turn into a straight relationship with Mark. She says: “I knew how much it meant to her. I loved her as Maritza and love her even more as Mark.”
Even as a young girl, Maritza had always felt more masculine than feminine. “I was more interested in playing with toy trucks than dolls,” says Mark, 45,from Texas, USA. Maritza’s parents Hayde, now 86, and Juan, 88, tried to encourage their daughter to be more feminine by dressing her in girlie clothes. But by her early teens, Maritza had realised she was attracted to women. “I found girls more interesting than boys. My parents guessed I liked girls but never confronted me, though Mum tried to encourage me to date boys,” says Mark.
When Maritza was 24 she met a British bus driver called John Clarke.* Five months later, she married him in a bid to “cure herself.” “I wasn’t sexually attracted to him and marriage was the last thing I wanted but Mum begged me to marry him,” says Mark. The marriage ended just weeks later because Maritza couldn’t bring herself to sleep with John.
Aged 38, Maritza met Violet at a gym. “We were instantly attracted to each other,” reveals Mark. “I liked her because she was kind and she liked me because I was manly, even though she knew I was a woman. She’d just been in a long relationship with a man, but we quickly became serious.” In November 2003, Maritza was approved for gender realignment surgery in Miami. And Violet was supportive of her decision. “I had no objections because I knew Maritza really wanted it and in my eyes she was a man in all but body,” says Violet. “We had a healthy sex life and the operation wasn’t going to change that.”
“Running my hand down my chest and not feeling breasts was wonderful,” says Mark. “The best thing was knowing I’d never have another period. It was worth all the pain.”
Mark says his father has accepted his transformation, but his mother hasn’t, and still calls him Maritza.
In February 2004, a month after a court declared Maritza a man, Mark and Violet became a lawfully married couple. “I just felt it was right to marry Violet again as a man and it’s what we both wanted. Seeing my name on the wedding certificate as Mr Mark Cummings was out of this world,” he says. And Mark no longer suffers from the depression that blighted his life for so long. He says: “The operations have changed my life. I’m finally free.”
Closer Online
Vocabulary
to be trapped – bezárt, csapdába esett
womb – méh
occupational therapist – szakmai (munkaügyi) terapeuta
hairdresser – fodrász
doll – baba
to be attracted to sy – vonzódni valakihez
realignment – átalakítás
to blight – elhervaszt, megmérgez (pl. egy egész életet)
Idioms
RELATIONSHIP & LOVE (part one)
ask for someone’s hand in marriage
– ask someone to marry you
After dating his girlfriend for several years he finally asked for her hand in marriage.
attracted to (someone)
– feel a physical or emotional attraction to someone
I was attracted to the woman at the party from the moment that I first met her.
blind date
– a date where the two people have never met before
I went on a blind date in university but it did not work out very well.
break someone’s heart
– cause someone emotional pain
The man broke his girlfriend’s heart when he told her that he was no longer in love with her.
break up
– end a relationship
They broke up after dating for more than three years.
crazy about (someone)
– think that another person is wonderful
My cousin has been crazy about the bank manager for many months now.
date someone
– go on or have a date with someone
My sister has been dating her boyfriend for over two years now.
dig someone
– like someone a lot (dig someone is not a commonly used idiom now)
She really digs the boy in her chemistry class.
double date
– a date where two couples get together to do something
It was a good idea to go on the double date even though everybody wanted to do something different.
dump someone
– end a relationship by telling someone that you don’t want to see him or her
The woman dumped her boyfriend after they began to have many fights.
fall for (someone)
– fall in love with someone
She always seems to fall for the wrong person and is never happy.
fall in love (with someone)
– begin to feel love for someone
He fell in love with a woman from his university class and they got married several months later.
find Mr. Right
– find the right or perfect person
She is always hoping to find Mr. Right but so far she hasn’t had any luck.
first love
– the first person that one falls in love with
Her first love was with a boy in her high school art class.
get along with someone
– have a good friendly relationship with someone
The woman gets along with her friends very well.
get back together
– return to a relationship or marriage after breaking up
The man got back together with his girlfriend after separating for several months last winter.
get engaged
– decide to marry someone
He got engaged to his wife several years before they actually got married.
get hitched
– get married
My sister and her boyfriend surprised everyone by suddenly getting hitched last weekend.
get serious
– a relationship becomes serious and long-term
The two students dated for several months before they began to get serious.
give someone (or something) a second chance
– try to save a relationship by forgiving and welcoming the other person back
The girl’s boyfriend left her for several months but when he wanted to come back she was happy to give him a second chance.
go dutch
– a date where each person pays half of the expenses
In university many of the students had little money so they often went dutch when they were on a date.
good together
– two people who get along well with each other
They are very good together and nobody has ever seen them argue.
go out with someone
– go on a date or be dating someone
I have been going out with a woman from my hiking club for several months now.
go steady
– date one person regularly (not so common recently but at one time used often by teenagers)
The two students have been going steady for three years now.
have a crush (on someone)
– have strong feelings of love for someone (often for a short time and with no results)
The young girl had a crush on her teacher in junior high school but of course it was an impossible situation.
have a thing for (someone)
– be attracted and care a lot about someone
She seems to have a thing for the new guy who just started to work at her company.
head over heels in love with someone
– be very much in love with someone
My friend is head over heels in love with the accountant in his new company.
hit it off (with someone)
– get along well with someone (usually from the beginning)
I hit it off with a woman in my photography class and we have been dating for several months now.
hung up on someone
– be obsessed with another person
The young woman has been hung up on a member of her tennis club for many months now.
interested in (someone)
– have a romantic interest in someone and possibly want to date that person
My sister has been interested in one of the students in her university biology class for many months now.
kiss and makeup
– become friends again after a fight or argument
After they have a fight the couple is always very quick to kiss and make up.
Idiomconnection.com
