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School jokes

Match the first line of the joke with the punchline.

1. Why did the student throw his watch out of the school window?

a) Because she couldn’t control her pupils.

2. What is Grammar?

b) Son: Not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow.

3. Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job?

c) Because they’re all in high school.

4. What did one math book say to the other?

d) Spelling.

5. Mom: What did you learn in school?

e) The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I’m not too keeen on the time in-between.

6. Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?

f) Lots of blood tests!

7. Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school?

g) He wanted to see time fly.

8. Father: How do you like going to school?

h) He wanted the lesson to be very clear!

9. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?

i) Don’t bother me, I’ve got my own problems!

10. What school subject is a witch good at?

j) The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

answers: 1-g 2-j 3-a 4-i 5-b 6-h 7-c 8-e 9-f 10-d

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]]> Seattle-i viccek “esőnapra” https://www.5percangol.hu/mindenfele/seattle-i-viccek-esnapra/ Wed, 14 May 2014 08:02:54 +0000 https://cmsteszt.5percangol.hu/seattle-i-viccek-esnapra/

Seattle, also known as the “Emerald City” because of the lush evergreen forests of the area, is one of the rainiest cities in the USA, with an average annual rainfall of 990 millimetres. No wonder that so many weather jokes feature this city.

Some other things Seattle is famous for are the iconic observation tower and restaurant Space Needle (184m) and the Starbucks coffehouse chain, a new arrival to Hungary. The popular TV show Grey’s Anatomy is set in one of the city hospitals and grunge music evolved there in the late 1980s as well: think Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden and Alice in Chains. Businesswise, it is the main base of Microsoft, with over 40,000 workers. Famous Seatellites include Jimi Hendrix, Hilary Swank, Bill Gates, and actor Patrick Duffy, well-known for his part as Bobby in the TV series Dallas.

Emerald City – Smaragdváros
lush – buja
average annual rainfall – átlagos éves csapadékmennyiség
observation tower – kilátótorony
coffehouse chain – kávézólánc
to evolve – kialakul, kifejlődik
to include – tartalmazni, beletartozni

Find the punchline.

1. What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle?

a) A guy with a sun visor on his rain hat.

2. It only rains twice a year in Seattle:

b) The kid says, "How do I know? I’m only 6."

 

3. What does daylight-saving time mean in Seattle?

c) "Well, that’s hard to say," replied the local. "Last year, it was on a Wednesday."

4. What’s the definition of a Seattle optimist?

d) August through April and May through July.

5. "I can’t believe it," said the tourist. "I’ve been here an entire week and it’s done nothing but rain. When do you have summer here?"

 

e) The Seattle evening news came on and said, "Today’s five day forecast-same as usual."

6. A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. He gets up the next day and it’s raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that. He goes out to lunch and sees a young kid and asks out of despair, "Hey kid, does it ever stop raining around here?"

f) A weekend.

7. Meteorological experts were predicting a gargantuan flood that would destroy the world. The Pope went on worldwide TV and said, "This is punishment from God. Prepare to meet your Maker." The President went on national TV and announced, "Our scientists have done all they can. The end is near."

g) An extra hour of rain.

answers: 1-f 2-d 3-g 4-a 5-c 6-b 7-e

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