Nina: Dr. Solomon, come on, enough with the practical jokes.
Dick: But, Nina, there’s nothing practical about this joke. It’s an utterly pointless, hurtful, and asinine waste of time.
Delivery Guy: You sure you don’t want this furniture?

Dick: Absolutely not. As a student of the ancient Chinese art of feng shui, I can assure you that the spiritual harmony of this room was upset by having that bitch sitting there.

Dick: Mary.
Mary: Dick.
Dick: Your desk was gone when I got here.
Mary: I believe you.
Dick: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! It was me! I had them take away your desk! Me! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Mary: This has got to stop.
Dick: Oh, you just want to quit ’cause you can’t win. Oh, my poor defeated Mary. You’re just outmatched, that’s all. But it takes a big woman to admit that. And just to show there are no hard feelings, I’m going to– my arm is stuck. That’s strange. So is this one. It’s almost as if there was glue on my desk.
Mary: Dick, don’t be ridiculous. It couldn’t be glue. It must be thermal bond epoxy.
Dick: No! Uhhhh! Uhh! Ohh!

Mary: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Dick: Mistake. Huge mistake.