Friends – Phoebe’s Hormones
Phoebe: That’s like the tenth time I’ve peed since I’ve been here!
Monica: That’s also like the tenth time you told us.
Phoebe: Yeah, oh I’m sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, it’s a lot easier having three babies play Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk on your bladder! I’m so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, ‘cause—Oh! I’m pregnant!
Ross: Pheebs, did…you want a cookie?
Phoebe: Thank you so much.
Rachel: So uh, Pheebs, honey, how are those mood swings coming?
Phoebe: I haven’t really had any yet.
Phoebe: I can’t believe I’m gonna have a party! This is so great! A party! Yay!! I don’t know why.
Rachel: Oh, and somebody can get those leather pants she’s always wanted!
Monica: Oh, she’s gonna love that!
Phoebe: What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I can’t use for another two months?! This sucks! Who gave me these?
Girl: I, I, I …… they told me you like them.
Phoebe: Oooh, all right then. I’m wrong. It’s a great gift. The best present I’ve ever got. All right, what’s my next present?!
All: I don’t have anything.
Monica: So how-how are things going?
Phoebe: Good. Y’know—no-no, okay, it’s-it feels like everything’s been about me lately, so what’s happening with you?
Rachel: Oh, well, actually we were just talking about me not going to Ross’s wedding.
Rachel: It just might be too hard, given the history and all that…
Phoebe: Wow! This reminds me of the time when I was umm, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.
Rachel: Well, h-how is this like that?
Phoebe: Well, let’s see, it’s not. Really, like that. Because, you see that was an actual problem, and uh, yours is just like y’know a bunch of y’know high school crap that nobody really gives y’know…
Rachel: I’m-I’m sorry, I just thought that…
Phoebe: Alrighty, here come the water works.