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How I Met Your Mother – Swarley
Mine says “Ted,” no heart.
Mine says “Swarley. ” How’d they get “Swarley” from “Barney”? It’s not even a name. Who would ever be called “Swarley”? Oh, please don’t start calling me “Swarley. This would never happen at a bar!
Man! What’s up with Swarley?
I know. You almost never see old Swarlz get that upset.
Hey, dude, by the way, I really like that suit. Tell me about the fabric. Is it foreign or something? Wow.
It is foreign. I’m impressed, Ted. It’s Moroccan, actually.
I got a call for Swarley. Is there a Swarley here?
You weren’t interested in my suit at all, were you?
Yeah, I know he’s there. It’s really important. Could you ask again?
Important call for Swarley!
Geez, can’t you hear him, Swarley? There’s a call for you.
Stop calling me that.
– You all done with that, Ted?
Ned. I told you to call him Ned.
That’s just sad.
And this next one’s going out to Swarley. All your friends know you miss Barney, but he’s gone, and you got to accept that, baby. And, Swarley, you’re gonna be a better woman for it.
Here’s “I Am Woman” by Helen Reddy.
Ha-ha! Now I’m a woman. I love it! You know, I was thinking about this whole new name thing last night, and you know what I realized? I like it.
You like being called Swarley?
Are you kidding? I want you to call me that.
Do you really think this is gonna work?
Do I think what’s gonna work? I’m just saying, I love my new name, so please only call me that from now on.
Call you what?
You know, that-that-that new name that you’ve been calling me.
Why? You guys know what it is.
Say the name.
No, I don’t want to! I hate it! I hate it! It’s not funny! It’s never been funny! I’ve never done any No!
to be impressed