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NEW YEAR’S EVE JOKES

Find the missing words to complete the jokes.

a) guests

d) jogging

g) quit

j) buying

b) blocking

e) husband

h) happened

k) embarrassing

c) haven’t

f) although

i) happily

l) pub

 

Q: What do you tell someone you didn’t see at New Year’s Eve?
A: I 1 ……………….. seen you for a year!

Q: What 2 ……………….. to the Irish man who thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year?
A: He gave up thinking.

Q: What’s the problem with 3 ……………….. on New Year’s Eve?
A: The ice falls out of your drinks!

New Year’s Eve

On New Year’s Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local 4 ……………….. and said that it was time to get ready.

At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every 5 ……………….. to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of 6 ………………… As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.



New Year’s Eve party
The New Year’s Eve party had turned into a regular marathon with numerous 7 ……………….. coming and going. At one point, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily 8 ……………….. no one knew who he was, and was led to the bar in the basement.
He sat there 9 ……………….. for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. “You know,” he confided to his host: “I wasn’t even invited to this party. I just came over to tell you that some of your guests’ cars are 10 ……………….. my driveway.”
The guest continued: “My wife’s been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved.”



New Year Resolution

A friend asks his friend for a cigarette. His friend says, “I think you made a New Year resolution to 11 ……………….. smoking.”

The man says, “I am in the process of quitting. Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.”

“What’s phase one? asked his friend.

“I’ve quit 12 ………………...”

answers:
1-c 2-h 3-d 4-l 5-e 6-k 7-a 8-f 9-I 10-b 11-g 12-j

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