Animal Jokes – Állati vicces :)

Animal Jokes

1. Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze.

2.Q: What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?
A: A watch dog.

3.Q: What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A: A lawn moo-er.

4. Q: What is the snake’s favorite subject?
A: Hiss-story

5. Q: How do you make a goldfish old?
A: Take away the g!

6. Ateam of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of

the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half, a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, “Where were you during the first half?” He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.

7. Q: What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
A: Its shadow.

8. Q: Where does an elephant pack his luggage?
A: In his trunk!

9. Q: Why was the cat afraid of a tree?
A: Because of the bark!

10. Q: What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A: Stuck!

11. Q: What is the difference between a car and abull?
A: A car only has one horn.

12. Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
A: Time to get a new bed!

13. There were two cows in a field. The first cow said “moo” and the second cow said “baaaa.” The first cow asked the second cow, “Why did you say baaaa?” The second cow said, “I’m learning a foreign language.”

14. Q: Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?
A: To hide in a bag of M&Ms.

15. Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut.

16. Q: What do whales eat?
A: Fish and ships.

17. Q: What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?
A: Anything you like, he can’t hear you

18. Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

19, Q: What did the sardine call the submarine?
A: A can of people

20. Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
A: He felt funny.

21. Q: What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?
A: Sir.

22. Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: A blushing zebra.

23. Q: What kind of dog always runs a fever?
A: A hot dog!

24. Q: What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?
A: A computer mouse.

25. Q: What is a frog’s favourite year?
A: Leap Year.

26. Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit.

Explanations

1. Salt and pepper are the spices most often used. Salt water is the water of the sea.

2. Awatch goes tick-tock, a dog goes bow-wow. A watch dog is a dog kept to guard a house. The joke plays with the different meanings of watch and watch dog.

3. Acow goes moo. A lawn mower cuts grass. A “lawn moo-er” is a cow mooing and eating grass.

4. Snakes hiss. History is a subject.

5. Goldfish minus “g” = old fish.

6. It takes a very long time to put on a hundred pairs of shoes.

7. Ashadow does not have any weight.

8. Atrunk can be a suitcase or the long nose of an elephant

9. Abark is the noise a dog makes or the outer layer of a tree. Cats are afraid of dogs.

10 The phone booth is too small for an elephant so it can get stuck there.

11. Abull has two horns on its head. The horn of a car gives out a warning sound.

12. “What time is it?” – Hány óra van? “It’s time to….” – Ideje hogy….

13. Cows moo, but don’t baa. Sheep baa.

14. M&Ms are different colour sweets.

15. nut = mogyoró, dió – act like a nut – őrültként viselkedni itt: úgy tenni, mintha dió/mogyoró lenne

16. Fish and chips helyett Fish and ships.

17. “What do you call” – Hogy nevezed? – “Anything you like” – Nevezheted akárhogy, úgysem hall téged.

18. slow to apologize – lassan  bocsátanak meg – to swallow their pride – lenyelni a büszkeségét (hosszú a nyaka, ezért sokáig tart)

19. can= szardíniásdoboz (annyi ember van a tengeralattjárón, hogy szardíniásdobozra emlékeztet)

20. to feel funny – furán érezni magát . Comedians are funny people.

21. Avery big gorilla needs to be respected, so call him “Sir”.

22. Ablushing zebra is red.

23. to run a fever – lázas. A hot dog – kutya, amelyik meleg.

24. Acomputer mouse has the same name as the real living animal.

25. Leap Year – szökőév. A frog leaps.

26. to make a sweater – pulóvert készíteni. Two sheep make a sweater – Két bárány gyapjából jön ki egy pulóver.